Are you holding yourself back by self-sabotaging? Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. It could be that you’re holding yourself back from making a great professional move because you’re afraid of change. Perhaps you’re sabotaging your relationships because of a poor self-image.
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
We often engage in self-sabotage behaviors subconsciously. We don’t do it on purpose. Sometimes, we’re aware of our actions but are so stuck in fear and consumed with anxiety that we can’t help it. A primary reason for self-sabotage is lacking confidence in oneself or having poor self-image and self-esteem. But you can break the pattern. Learn the signs of self-sabotaging and what you can do to stop it.
1) You Participate in Negative Self-Talk
Find out if you’re aware of your negative self-talk. If you frequently talk down to yourself, tell yourself that you don’t deserve things, that you aren’t good enough for things, or that you won’t ever reach your goals, you’re likely self-sabotaging. These negative thoughts can manifest your reality.
How to stop: Start using these positive affirmations to encourage yourself.
2) You Repeatedly Quit Before You Reach a Goal
Do you often find yourself setting goals or telling yourself that you will do something, only to quit shortly after that? Maybe you’ve told yourself you’re going to start going to the gym or begin managing your time better to give up quickly. You may be self-sabotaging out of the fear of failure.
How to stop: Motivate yourself. Use fitness motivationals or read up on goal setting and time management.
3) You Isolate Yourself From Others
If you find yourself backing out of romantic relationships that seem to be going well, or staying away from friends and family, you may be self-sabotaging. You may be doing this because you feel you aren’t worthy of love or out of fear of rejection.
How to stop: Determine what kind of relationships you do want in life, make sure your relationships aren’t toxic, and allow yourself to get close to others.
4) You Feel as if You’re Not Who Others Think You Are
If you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you may feel that you’re not who others think you are. That you’re “phony,” not smart enough, or well-equipped to do your job. You may be professionally self-sabotaging.
How to stop: Learn how to build confidence in yourself.
5) You Don’t Take Action Because You Believe Things Are Out of Your Control
Some things are out of your control. The weather, what others say and do, or whether the electricity goes out, for instance. However, you are in control of many things in your life. The belief that things happen to you, particularly negative things, is a sign of self-sabotaging. You may think you “have bad luck,” when you aren’t taking proactive measures to make positive changes in your life.
How to stop: Work on your process of self-development. There are podcasts you can listen to and online courses you can take to work on bettering yourself.
Breaking the Cycle
If you believe you are self-sabotaging, you can break the cycle today. Implement tips on how to break the habit, get back out there, and make some positive changes. It’s entirely possible, and your life will improve right before your eyes.