Almost everyone I know cheated, had a partner that cheated, or knows someone who cheated. To be frank, I don’t think cheating is a new thing. But, with social media, dating apps, busy schedules, and work travel on the rise, can cheating be worse now? What do you think?
Signs of Cheating
One could argue that because technology makes cheating easier, recognizing signs of cheating is more challenging. However, specific behaviors can be quite telling about secrets your partner might be hiding.
- Their phone is off-limits for you, and they’ll go to the extreme to make sure you never get your hands on their phone.
- No matter how many times you call, text, or email, you can’t find them or reach them.
- Your intimacy has taken a hit.
- They seem angry or nervous around you for no reason.
- Their schedule continues to change with no reason.
- They start talking about friends you’ve never heard of before.
- You no longer know what they’re up to regularly.
The Numbers around Cheating
It might seem crazy, but some studies analyze the trends around cheating behaviors. Including, who’s more likely to cheat, and the reasons that lead people to cheat in the first place.
- Studies call cheating the number one reason why relationships end.
- Around 15% of married women and 25% of married men cheat in a lifetime.
- Close to 35% of women have an emotional affair, while that’s the same for 45% of men.
- About 68% of women and 75% of men believe they cheated in some way at some point in their relationships.
- Between 18% and 25% of Tinder users (a dating app) are in a committed relationship.
- Not surprisingly, close to 70% of couples don’t discuss what cheating means to them.
What to Do? Is It Possible to Move Forward?
With infidelity being so common among couples, is it possible to move forward? Many couples I know have found their way past cheating. It’s not as easy as it sounds, and not all couples make it, but by working on the relationship, there are ways to move forward.
If you find yourself trying to navigate relationship waters after being cheated on, first, know you’re not alone. As you can see from the statistics, cheating is more common than we believe.
For those who decide there’s value left in their relationship, know that the steps moving forward require time, a bit of suffering, and a lot of talking. At this point, you should discuss talking to a couples counselor, whether online or in-person. Then, you have to start getting ready for your first couples therapy session, and be prepared for some very raw emotions. Make sure you don’t go crazy trying to micro-manage your partner as you go through these healing steps. Be open and transparent about your feelings, let them know that at this moment, you might not trust them, and that’s why you might question almost every move they make. However, ask for time and comprehension as you figure this out together.
I know cheating can be a challenging issue to digest, and many couples never recover from this. For now, I hope you find strength, courage, and love within your relationship to make it work. And, even if you don’t, at least find comfort in the knowledge that you tried.