Is It Time to Stop Supporting Your Adult Children Financially? [Quiz]

You could have that extra cushion for vacation funds. However, it was transferred to your oldest child, who is still hitting up the family stash because they’re short on rent despite their full-time job. What do you do? Could it be time to start spelling it out for your child and let them know they’re being cut off?

Is It Time to Cut Your Adult Children Financially?

You know the dynamic. Whether you’re in it yourself, have experienced it before, or know someone struggling with cutting kids off financially—you’re probably aware that these types of situations are complicated.

There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to arriving at the most advantageous point to stop supporting kids financially. The variables are too diverse. Everyone’s financial situation varies, along with their parenting style. Then, there are your child’s actual plans for the future, their execution, as well as your involvement in them.

Make Moves with Confidence

The sensitivity of financial matters creates a climate that is guilt and fear-ridden for parents who are just trying to help their children. It’s natural to question if they’ll be okay, or if you’re making the right decision.

Keep these things in mind for self-assessing whether or not it could be “time.”

• Consider the facts about where they are and where they are headed. What is your child currently taking on that is preventing them from supporting themselves? Is it worth an investment that you will or are making? Could you be stuck if your child potentially changes their mind? What are the risks and benefits for all parties involved?
• Be helpful, but not enabling. Pay attention to the system of how your behavior affects theirs. Is your child using you as an open bank because you’ve allowed them to, or are they strategically applying assistance to better themselves? How does your support contribute to their learning of how to support themselves in the future?
• Don’t hand money out without conditions. If you find yourself unable to halt assistance, be strategic with how it’s done. Don’t simply give money, coordinate loan agreements, with an understanding that they are responsible for repayment.
• A lack of motivation may be a deeper issue. If your child has a lack of motivation, this might be different than a lack of direction or resources. It might be a sign that there is more going on cognitively or emotionally that needs addressing.

A Note from GR8NESS

Putting an end to financial support doesn’t mean an end to support as a parent. There are still many emotional, cognitive, and experiential tools you can assist your child with throughout their lifetime. You don’t have to worry about teaching them everything. Besides, how else will they pleasantly surprise you in the future and have you asking, “Did I teach them that?” Not to mention, teaching your children how to manage their finances can also be an act of self-care.