I never understood all the fuss about comparing dating and roller coasters. Let’s unravel that little metaphor, shall we? Roller Coasters are controlled on one track and entirely operated with a specific science that allows them to. They’ve got their highs and lows, sure—but you know what to expect. You’re cool with feeling sheer discomfort.
On the one hand, you’ve been promised that it will be fun. One the other, you’re fully aware of the fact that even if you don’t enjoy it, it will be over in a few minutes. Tears from fear will only last as long as the walk to the cotton candy stand, and that’s it, it’s over.
Is Dating a Roller Coaster?
Dating is not this. You hop on the journey through highs and lows completely clueless at to when and if it will end. Even getting off the dating “roller coaster” is not as simple. You don’t just pat your pockets for your belongings and keep moving.
Being able to recover from less than ideal dating circumstances is critical. Avoid getting jaded, tell negativity to go home, and show up to the dates that matter as your best self by staying positive.
At GR8NESS, we believe the prescription for staying positive is self-care. Here’s how you make it happen.
1. Become Cool with Rejection
On the note of opinions, always and forever keep that grain of salt handy. Staying positive while dating is all about being able to bounce back from rejection. Artist Dita Von Teese said it best: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
This is where practicing positive self-talk can come into play. Make sure your inner dialogue is not whispering that you deserve to be rejected in your ear, or that you should take it personally. Instead, opt to remind yourself why you’re a catch and why the right person will see it.
2. Stay True to Yourself
Sometimes what we think of ourselves can be awakened by words and opinions of others. Other times, people say things that influence our way of viewing ourselves. If we’re not careful, we can adopt other people’s limited thinking.
So, if you’ve gone on a date or several with someone who challenges aspects of your personality or way of being, don’t just let it go. You don’t need to go all “I am who I am” empowerment speech on them, but you can choose to process their opinion, and then humbly free yourself of it. Remember that opinions are not facts.
3. Invite Change with Open Arms
Sticking to your guns when it comes to who you are is essential. But so is revisiting who that person is. As we move through life, we are evolving. Without any attention to it, we might change beyond our consciousness. Before we know it, we’re someone completely different.
However, an openness to change requires a constant reassessment of who we are and if it’s aligned with who we want to be. Stay positive by being open to expanding your comfort zones and beliefs, but draw the line at your boundaries.
4. Get Busy with Other Things
Immerse yourself in whatever you do. Have you got lots of free time? Start filling it with things that feed you. Not only will you distract yourself from dwelling on your love life, but you very well may attract someone with similar interests or values. Be careful not to take it overboard with work, though, as burnout won’t help your case. Use being busy to leverage your positive outlook.
No matter what troubles dating brings, keep your cool by practicing self-care. Send the connections that don’t work packing with resilience, and bring on the new ones with confidence.