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GR8NESS expert Expert Reviewed
A couple alone in a dark room enjoying intimacy
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When You’re Too Busy to Get Busy

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Are you too busy to get busy in the bedroom? Problems with intimacy puts a strain on your relationship – if there isn’t one already.

Maybe you’ve been married for a few years, you have two or more young kids, you work long hours, etc. Whatever it is, you’re not alone. Almost everyone in a long-term relationship has a busy schedule and struggles to find time to get intimate with their partner.

It doesn’t have to be this way, though. If you and your partner commit to finding time for sex – and not the kind of rushed affair that leaves you both unsatisfied – you can fix this.

Here are some time hacks and tips to manage your busy schedule, prioritize, and get you and your partner back on track in the bedroom:

Work on Your Communication

Studies show that couples who talk openly about sex find more time for sex and have a much more satisfying sex life. So, if sex is a taboo topic between you and your partner, it’s time to open up that line of communication.

This will not necessarily help you find a solution that makes your life less busy. But by talking openly about when and how often you want sex, you create a way to fit it into your busy schedules.

Keep Your Expectations Realistic

If you believe everything you read online, see on TV, and what your friends tell you over a drink, you might believe that the average couple has sex twice a day! That’s hard to fit into anyone’s schedule.

The reality is very different, however. In fact, around 20% of couples identify as having a sexless marriage. With 20%-30% of men and 30%-50% of women claim to have little if any sex drive. So, using more realistic expectations, are you really too busy?

Prioritize Making Time

If something is important enough, we can all stretch a little more time out of our days. Maybe the real question you should be asking yourself is, “Am I really too busy, or am I just not feeling it with my partner?”

The answer might be a bit of both. A busy day means you’re tired. Being tired means you’re not in the mood for sex. Then the problems with intimacy cycle continues. Maybe it’s time to prioritize better and make time when you’re not really tired. If you still don’t not feel it then, there might be a deeper problem.

Get Creative with the Time You Have

If you plan out your day, you see that there are blocks of time in your schedule where you have time to yourself. It’s just a matter of making those time blocks overlap with your partner’s spare time, and voila!

Maybe this means getting busy first thing in the morning, or even waking up 30 minutes earlier. It might be a lunch break, or a 30-minute slot between picking up the kids and eating dinner. Getting creative means doing something out of the ordinary, which is what the situation demands when you’re far too busy for most of the day.

Change Something for the Sake of Your Relationship

Despite all these tips, you may still say that you’re simply too busy to have sex and be intimate with your partner. So, you’re at a crossroads.

If sex is important to you and your partner, you need to cut something out of your schedule to free up more of your time. There are a lot of other people who work full-time, have kids, have hobbies, and still find time to spend with their partners to avoid problems with intimacy.

Do you have a long work commute? If so, you should look into getting a job closer to home. Do you spend a lot of time with friends or on your own hobbies? Try cutting this down for a few weeks and see how things pan out. You have options if you dig deep enough into your schedule and are willing to make the necessary changes. Read more about sex and relationships to make this transition even easier.

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Matt
GR8NESS Writer
Matt is a GR8NESS contributing writer on such subjects as pets, CBD, pain relief, sexual health, time management, and family & parenting. When he's not placed in the awkward position of referring to himself in the third person, Matt tries to keep two Dachshunds, an 18-year old daughter, and one wife blissfully happy but not necessarily in that order.
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