Unlearning Toxic Behavior Once and for All

We all know that removing toxic people from our lives is good for our mental health, and we sometimes even choose to forgive them so we can move on. But what happens when you are a toxic person? We all have toxic habits of some kind, even if we don’t realize it. After all, no one likes to admit that there are some aspects of yourself that you are not proud of and would like to let go of.

If you’ve begun to notice toxic behavior in yourself, it’s time to unlearn them. Buckle up. This ride is not always a pleasant one. But in the end, your relationships, both romantic and platonic, will be much more satisfying. And you and the people around you will be much happier.

Watch the video and then keep reading to recognize toxic behaviors in yourself.

For Those Who Ignore Self-care

Whether you are overworking your body or not paying attention to your mental health, the dangers of neglecting self-care are real. We’re all guilty of slacking on our self-care every once in a while, but if you let it go too far, the damage may become irreversible.

What to do:

• Find out if your view on healthcare is healthy.
• Understand that self-care means different things to different people.
• Consider taking a mental wellness day.

If You Tend to Have Controlling Behaviors

Do you have a history of combative relationships? Do you feel betrayed when people don’t do what you want? If this describes you, then you may exhibit controlling behaviors. While everyone has some controlling traits, being mindful of your own can help you learn how to manage them.

What to do:

• Soften your approach and take responsibility for your feelings.
• Contain the impulse and soothe your anxiety.
• Understand that other people have free will.

For Those with Anger Management Issues

Getting angry once in a while isn’t the same as having anger management issues. There are a lot of reasons why you may have anger management issues, from grief to depression and bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. If you find yourself not being able to control your temper, look into ways to manage your anger.

What to do:

• Take anger management classes.
• Try behavioral therapy.
• Talk to your doctor to see if your anger stems from a medical condition.

If You Are a People Pleaser

People pleasing doesn’t just drain your energy and keep you from meeting your own needs; it puts a flashing neon target over your head. When you put the needs of others ahead of yours without a valid reason, you are acting from insecurity. This can lead to you being taken advantage of and feelings of resentment.

What to do:

• Cultivate awareness of when you are people-pleasing.
• Identify the root of your people-pleasing.
• Learn when to say “no.”

For Those Who Take Things Too Personally

I had a boss who used to say, “Take it personally; it saves time.” And while this seemed funny at the time, I came to realize how toxic it was to take everything personally. Some mean comments and unkind acts will be directed at you, but that doesn’t mean they all are. And someone else’s tendency to act mean is not your fault. By taking responsibility for things that are not your fault, you decrease your sense of self-worth.

What to do:

• Practice not worrying about what other people think about you.
• Work on building your self-confidence.
• Don’t take anything personally.

Self-reflection can be uncomfortable and difficult. No one likes to think poorly of themselves, and most of us are resistant to change. But doing the work can lead to living a happier, richer, and more fulfilled life.