The term “maintenance sex” is making headlines lately. It’s something not many people have heard of, but many couples have been engaging in for a long time without realizing. So, what is it and should you give it a try? Could it be the key to maintaining sexual wellness?
Some people wonder if they have too much libido and others struggle with having a low sex drive. Still, there are couples that are very much in love, enjoy having sex with each other, but–well, life gets busy.
Whether it’s hectic work schedules with mis-matched shifts or mastering the art of working full time jobs and taking care of the kids, oftentimes at the end of the day couples are just too tired to get it on.
Sexual Dry Spells
It’s common for couples to have “dry spells” in a relationship. Periods of time where sex simply doesn’t happen. It has nothing to do with the health of your relationship. Many couples share intimate moments in other ways.
One survey states that many couples, either married, in long-term relationships, or engaged, go anywhere from one to four weeks without having sex at one time or another.
Cue: Maintenance Sex
Maintenance sex is a topic of high debate, because it is just as it sounds. It is having consensual sex with your partner for the sake of having sex, even if you both aren’t in the mood. It’s sex on a schedule, to ensure that your relationship retains an element of sexuality even when life gets busy.
Maintenance sex is not to be misinterpreted as pressuring a partner to have sex with you, coercing them, or guilting them into it. Maintenance sex is sex that is agreed upon by both individuals, and relationship experts say that it may be vital to long-term relationships.
The Benefits of Maintenance Sex
When life gets busy and schedules get crazy, maintenance sex can help couples rekindle intimacy. Sex reduces levels of cortisol, the “stress chemical” and releases “feel good” chemicals in the brain, including serotonin and oxytocin. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that promotes feelings of bonding, can help lower anxiety and reduce depression and stress.
Naturally, when couples engage in consensual sex, even if they weren’t “in the mood,” they experience the positive biological effects. They feel closer to each other, happier, and experience many other benefits.
Studies state that sex has multiple health benefits that go beyond mental wellness. These include:
- Burning calories
- Protecting against the risk of developing high blood pressure
- Regulating intestinal issues such as IBS
- Relieving migraines
- Improving sleep patterns
When you think about it, maintenance sex makes sense. Not only for your relationship, but for your body as well.
How to Engage in Maintenance Sex
Since maintenance sex is sex that takes place when you and your partner aren’t necessarily in the mood, many wonder how they can incorporate it into their relationship. How do you have sex when you aren’t thinking about sex?
Many couples find it helpful to create a sex schedule. Yes, you heard that right. A sex schedule. Pick one day a week where you both have a free hour and block that time out for maintenance sex.
You might just find yourself looking forward to that day all week long.