Ever experience the phenomenon of someone explaining the difference of how “girls” and “boys” should behave about sex? I don’t mean the obvious differences in reproductive systems, their care through puberty, and other aspects that make approaching the topic slightly varied for each. In any case, young men and women must be taught equally about both. This is more about the verbal behavior that surrounds sex and its common dynamics.
Discussing Sexual Needs
From an early age, certain gender constructs are difficult to ignore. The ripe year of 2019 has brought us progression in terms of perspectives toward these sorts of distinctions, but there is still plenty of progress to be made.
Among popular constructs in question, is the tendency for sexual needs to be communicated with much more ease when done by a male partner. This is a product of the societal attitude and male bonding culture that promotes sex as a man’s pleasure. Alternatively, the opposite has occurred for women, making it common to be deemed “inappropriate” for a woman to express her sexual desires, or at least overtly.
Don’t Miss Out On Intimacy
If these concepts seem outdated to you, GR8. The hope is that society gets to a place where no one is denied open, safe, expression of their sexuality. However, as far as we’ve come, and even if these concepts seem antiquated, they trickle down into the spaces where we are vulnerable: our most intimate moments.
There’s never been a better time to be alive for the feminist movement and fight for equality. We’re as far as we’ve ever come, but why isn’t it enough? The truth is that even with advancements in attitudes, the self-doubt taught from a young age, and sometimes inherited from past generations, can inhibit the modern woman in explaining what she wants in the bedroom. Sometimes, even knowing what she wants.
This isn’t to say that this dynamic occurs only on the woman’s end in heterosexual relationships, or that it only occurs in heterosexual relationships at all. Inherited and societally influenced constructs that suppress the ability to express oneself with ease are a challenge for many.
Safe Sex is More Than Contraception and Consent
Any sexual relationship between two people allows for both to be open and honest with their desires. A safe sexual connection is one where vulnerability is honored and treated with a sense of delicacy. When this happens, it helps to foster a safe, intimate connection that allows for the bond to grow.
If the opposite happens, the bond may still strengthen, but instead in insecurity. If one or both partners do not feel safe to communicate their intimate desires, then there’s a pretty good chance that the interaction should be reevaluated.